Well, let's see!
Jacob and I sat down and started
Mendability today.
I told him in the morning that we were going to check it out. He asked if we could "schedule" sometime in the evening.
I said, "Sure, what time is good for you?"
He said, "How does 5:00 p.m. work for you?"
I said "Perfect!"
Five o'clock comes and as usual, Jacob is at my office door, and politely informs me that it is time. I never notice the time. I just keep working until I cannot work considering how much I have to do. I, as usual, ask him to give me a few minutes to finish up what I am doing and he says "OK" and shuffles away, slightly ticked off. A few minute go by and I try to quickly finish what I was doing so we can start on a great foot.
I call him into the office and as he pulls up a chair, explain to him, that I have no idea what we are going to see or how the system works. I inform him, straight away that it may not be smooth and that we must learn how the system works. I want to prepare him so he does not get discouraged. He nods in understanding.
I explain to him how Kim asked about video recording his sessions as I pull up the website and log in. His face glows and as he is still beaming, informs me "Well, we do not have any batteries for the camera." I downplay the conversation, realizing I spoke too soon, by telling him "Well, we don't want to videotape the first time, right? How silly will we look as we figure this out?" Jacob chuckled and I sighed....no meltdown.
Jacob and I are in the program and already he is anxious and fidgeting in his chair. He is easily frustrated that I do not know where to go in the program. He saw our names at the top of the screen and wants our pictures there before we go any further. I click on my name and there is a place to put my picture but I leave and try to click on his name but am unable to put a picture next to his name. This frustrates him and he already starts to get agitated. I try to explain that I will work with that part later but the important part is to get to the worksheets.
Jacob immediately wants control over the computer. I allow him to do so but guide him to where he needs to click. We come to the worksheet and he clicks the icon. A long list of behaviors is listed. We read the instructions which tell us to check off different categories and how much of an issue they are. I explain to Jacob that many of the children are younger than he is and their parents have to fill out the questions. We decided that we both should have input HOWEVER, he is to do all of the typing. I agree...he is still sitting with me and willing even though he is still obviously ticked off about the "picture" deal.
The first worksheet that Jacob and I come to ask pretty extensive questions that go into more detail depending on the answer you chose. The worksheet is quite a few questions but, to be honest, Jacob has had to go through extensive testing via the public school system every three years. since he was two. Because Jacob is 15 and 1/2 years old, I allowed him to answer the questions with my input when necessary. I feel that I place second in who knows Jacob best.
This was a reaction and realization I wasn't expecting to feel. Ever since Jacob was a toddler, it has always been me that knew what he needed. Because we have been together 24/7 for so long, I learned how to help him communicate to the rest of the world. That being said, I have always done anything I could to afford him the same opportunities as children without Autism. Part of this tactic was teaching him to self-advocate, as well as to "Dream Big and Reach for the Stars". I have always assured him that he can do whatever he sets his mind to and that I would be there to support him.
This is why we are both excited and gladly participating in the Mendability program. I should have noticed how long we spent on the first worksheet but I didn't. Honestly, I thought we would get further along than we did. Jacob and I got through 55.5% of the first worksheet before he started to have a meltdown. He started getting agitated with the self-reflective questions. He became frustrated and argumentative with me about whether his "grumpiness" in the morning was a "severe problem" or "a bit of a problem". I attempted to compromise and check the "big problem" answer but by that time, meltdown started.... Next time I will measure how many minutes he makes it with the program.
We stopped when it was obviously futile that any further questions as he becomes very obsessive with minute details. He argued with me for several minutes before I eventually calmed him down and told him it was okay that we were not able to finish the brain profile test. I tried to talk with Jacob about why we must fill out the brain profile test in order to give him the sensory enrichment exercises that will best help him. He finally agreed to give it a rest for the day but was highly aggravated with me. To Be Continued....
Regards,
~ Holley
