I have been writing about the transition of young adults with special needs (particularly those on the Autism Spectrum) and have noticed something new in my son. I then did a little research and found other young adults who have also had a positive experience in transitioning.
First, Jacob does not do well with transitioning of anything. It makes him very anxious and uncomfortable so we tend to keep our lives on a pretty rigid program. Jacob works better when he has structure so I was not sure how things would go considering the way the school system works here. The students take classes from August to December and then new classes from January to May. The classes might be the same such as English or Government, but Jacob does not get the same teacher every time.
Transitioning through this process has been hard during his time in high school. The first year was the worst because he was transitioning from middle to high school which is HUGE for any student but then he had to become accustomed to switching class topics and teacher halfway through the year. That was hard on him and I felt horrible but it was a life lesson that he has to learn to overcome.
Since that time, he has gradually gotten better at the changes in the middle of the year but it seems as soon as he gets comfortable his life is turned upside down with new classes and new teachers. The PowerPoint that we made is updated each time he gets new teachers and he presents it each time. That has been a plus as far as the changes in classes halfway through the year. He has gained a lot of experience in self-disclosure and feels more comfortable talking to others about his disabilities. I am very proud of him for that. We started when he was 12 years old learning how he can and will disclose his disabilities.
Jacob has been disclosing some of his disabilities to new friends he makes after a certain amount of time. He has never shown any of them the PowerPoint he did, but he talks with each one individually. He does this so that if they have any questions, they are not discouraged or embarrassed by having others around. This has been great for Jacob's social skills. He now has a "cliché" of friends since tenth grade. Since social skills have always been hard for Jacob, making AND keeping friends is a HUGE accomplishment. I could not be more proud of my only child. There is a fine line between disclosing and being discriminated for it so Jacob's ability to self-advocate is truly remarkable. However, I want to stress that these changes need to be in place from day one of diagnosis. Early Intervention is the key to successfully reached children on the Spectrum to the fullest capacity.
I also found a great little webpage that lists some other youths who have gone through transitions called Stories of Transitions to the Adult World and although the stories of these four people are dated to 2003, they still apply greatly to our children today. As you will read, the author points out how transition to adulthood is hard on every young person. However, then you add having disabilities on top of that and the only thing left as a parent to do is to GIVE MORE SUPPORT. That is my motto and I have stuck with those three simple rules during Jacob's entire life.
We look at the future and chose to image the best; then we make SMART goals and go from there. This is how we have always focused on Jacob's education and life goals. If you have never heard of SMART goals or could use some support in developing SMART goals, make sure to check out the link. They not only explain what SMART goals are but help you in deciding how to write them. We use the program for his transitioning steps and it has worked great. I am happy to have found this site because Jacob can use the site continuing after high school transition into adulthood. Transition is hard, but not impossible.
DREAM BIG, CONQUER ANYTHING!!
I have found that for Jacob, he has to trust you 100% before opening up. His trust in hard to earn considering his disabilities and also during his upbringing when I was married. However, once Jacob has given you his trust, he completely gives your transitioning advice serious thought. He is set on a career path but has been up for listening to school personnel about transitioning as well as friends, plus my fiancé and me. Jacob is high functioning but his social skills make transitioning so much harder. He is very self-aware and tries to cope and overcome his disabilities but like anyone on the planet, he trips and falls flat on his face sometimes with the plan on how his transition into adulthood should be addressed. Luckily, as I stated, he has gained a lot of advice from trusted adults and he accepts and considers them.
My parenting role changes around this time and we talk almost every day about his transitioning to adult hood. We talk about how to continue to make him responsible for more issues at this point. However, he know that mom, Tony, and his IEP team are supporting him and by encouraging and praising his accomplishments and breaking down any negative feedback to he can learn to handle that kind of information. Just this morning on the ride to take him to school, we discussed him getting a driver's license. In this state, he could already have one but has been reluctant until very recently. I, of course, want my son to be as independent as possible so I brought up the subject again this morning. I use those "alone times together" periods to talk to him about how he doing now and about his future. I explain that "Mom is not always going to be here" which he understands that this means that at some point, Jacob has the capacity to take some control over his life. As a parent, our job is to make sure, first, that our youth are receiving the correct supports. Secondly, we should be giving a lot of support
In Nebraska, there are certain rights a young person gains as an adult at the age of 18 but it is not until age 19 that they are granted full rights. The Nebraska State Bar Foundation offers a great resource for youth in Nebraska. Their guide called Reaching the Age of Majority is weathered here in my home. I would suggest any Nebraska parents read this booklet because it has all of the legal concepts about transitioning to adulthood into layman's terms which is great for me (and I am sure other parents as well). The booklet is underwritten by The Marvin and Virginia Schmid Law-Related Education Endowment and discusses everything from alcohol, banking, cell phones, criminal law, insurance, internet safety, marriage, divorce and children, taxes, voting, weapons and wills. That is just to name a few. This booklet is well worth the free download or you can order one from their site.
After doing a lot of research and trying many different therapies, I feel that Jacob will succeed in being a productive, successful, but mostly, happy and confident adult. With this in mind, that is why we are working our way through a transition programs called My 10 Year Plan, which is a great process that even neuro-typical high school student can use. This program is individualized for each youth and includes resources for teachers, administrator, parents, and students. It is:
"in-depth decision-making process of developing a quantitative and meaningful 10-year career, education and life plans and portfolio" **Source My 10 Year Plan**
Well, I hope you will use the links I have supplied to make plans, write goals, obtain success, and feel great about your child's future. Please share this post with others who may benefit from it. Jacob has decided that he wants to write on his page so please visit Jacob's Page to view his first "post".
