Autism Acceptance - A Good Place To Start Research

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Here is another LiveBinder that I designed to help those parents who have recently had their child diagnosed with Autism. It is a great tool and it keeps your attention while diverting any worries that you are suffering from at the moment. There is some great information but not too much that will cause overload and shut down by parents and children alike. I hope this helps some parents. Please feel free to leave more links below if you feel there is something missing. For those that have been working the "Autism Scene" for a while like me, I also made a transition LiveBinder early this year that you may find some use for. I hope you enjoy!
Regards,
~ Holley

Learning To Live And Love Autism

Learning styles of Individuals with Autism - Autism Awareness Month

       

Learning styles of Individuals with Autism - Autism Awareness Month from Karina Barley - M.Ed.

I love quotes and to find this Slideshare full of great quotes was exhilarating and put a fire under me that helps me focus on the big picture which is getting Jacob to the point in his life where he is as happy as he can be as well as independent as possible. As you read each quote, stop for one or two minutes and think deeply about how that quote effects you and your family. Find a place deep in you to use that quote and make it yours, make it your child's; then forge on. FORGE ON!

Autism 101 by ASNV (Last updated June 2015)

     

Autism 101 by ASNV (Last updated June 2015) from AutismNOVA

Tips for Mom, Dad, and Extended Family and Friends

1. The first tip is to accept your child. Love your child. Accept him or her for their differences - not disabilities. They are the same child they were before you heard the "dreaded word Autism". We are ALL different, meaning that your child has the potential to grow over time with proper medical evaluations and the best treatments for him or her.

There are many emotions you will be having at this time. You may need to go through the grieving process straight away. That is NORMAL and OKAY! We all go through it and sometimes as they grow bigger, we will slip back into it for a bit. The stages of the grieving process include shock, sadness, anger, denial, feeling lonely, and ultimately you will be accepting. However, then you need to pull your bootstraps up and get to work. All members of the family and friends will go through the grieving process differently. The most important thing is to realize that each of you are still in mourning and none of you are doing it the "right way". There is NO right way. You have now become your child's biggest advocate, friend, fighter, mom, dad, friends, family, etc. 

Project Heart Touch - Finding Support on Your Autism Journey

      

Project Heart Touch - Finding Support on Your Autism Journey from Jodi Murphy

There are many emotions you will be having at this time. You may need to go through the grieving process straight away. That is NORMAL and OKAY! We all go through it and sometimes as they grow bigger, we will slip back into it for a bit. The stages of the grieving process include shock, sadness, anger, denial, feeling lonely, and ultimately you will be accepting. However, then you need to pull your bootstraps up and get to work. All members of the family and friends will go through the grieving process differently. The most important thing is to realize that each of you are still in mourning and none of you are doing it the "right way". There is NO right way. You have now become your child's biggest advocate, friend, fighter, mom, dad, friends, family, etc.

Won't You Pledge Too?

Regards,
~ Jacob Klein
 ~ Holley Jacobs

Early Invention Is The Key To Success

Finally!! Those who can assist parents in helping their children recently diagnosed with autism have realized that early intervention is the key to success. I have struggled with spreading this concept from the time Jacob was diagnosed. As a pediatric nurse and a mother, I knew that Jacob was special very early on. This was 1998 and Autism wasn't even a word anyone knew about. I took Jacob to a specialist who diagnosed him with Autism.

Immediately, I went into "mom" mode. I started researching everything I could possibly find on the internet. There was not much information out there then and what was available was horrific. Long story short  - children with this disorder "needed to be put into homes because they would never amount to anything".  Well, that just infuriated me. I would be damned if anyone told me my son could not be absolutely anything he wanted and he could succeed and meet whatever goals he made for himself.

As his mother, a nurse, an advocate; I have worked raising awareness for not only Autism Awareness but more importantly to me, Autism Acceptance. I have a great example of what ACCEPTANCE should be the main priority for those with Autism. I have a small green puzzle piece tattoo on my right hand. Now, mind you, I have many other tattoos but all of them can be covered with clothes if need be EXCEPT my puzzle piece. This was a strategic move on my part. When I  first meet someone, I firmly shake their hand with my right hand. Since getting this tattoo, nine out of ten people will ask me what is means. AAAHHHAAA!!! Gotcha!! The door is opened for me to spread autism acceptance and the miraculous human being that is my son.

April Again Is Here - Autism Awareness Month

We have made a video each April for Autism Awareness since 2011. We haven't done that this year. We have bigger plans but I wanted to share my three favorite videos. Jacob and I worked hard on these videos and I am proud to call him my son, my heart, and my soul. He makes me proud every day and there are many days I wonder how I got so lucky to have such a compassionate, caring son. What makes me so special? I now realize that it is not me that is special and I am supposed to help him but the exact opposite, in fact. He was given to me by God because HE is SPECIAL and he helps me on a daily basis. Watching him grow into a smart, young man has been a joy that no one can take from me nor share with me. It is something that only Jacob and I share and for that; 

I AM PROUD TO BE AN ASPIE MOM!!

Regards, 
~ Holley Jacobs

Sometimes Teens With Asperger's And Social Awkwardness Gets The Pretty Cheerleder

Youth on the high-end spectrum of Autism, formerly known as Aspergers' usually has a higher degree of social awkwardness. This social awkwardness can be doubly hard if the youth doesn't get the positive response they seek. They will then resort to one of two areas - they will retreat to their rooms that are full of solitude and not face the issue of socialization or they will feel the need to dominate a conversation. They will take control of the situation which is not great either as this does not promote "a true give-and-take relationship" **Source

This video really touched me as it portrays many aspects of signs, symptoms, and issues that youth on the Autism Spectrum scale deal with on a daily basis. The first, and most enlightening, is the surprise, gratefulness, and pure joy that the boy shows after realizing what the cake question meant. The video also shows the empathy of some great high school students. It is also great to see that "The boy with Autism can still go to prom with a popular, cute cheerleader" which fills my heart with joy, pride, and hopefulness. Next, it is obvious that the young man is very surprised as if he doesn't believe what is happening. His response is one that seems awkward in some sense but, at the same time, similar to the same way a young man asked to prom by a pretty girl would react.

I decided to write about this topic because of a situation that happened between Jacob and myself. I have been designing websites for a couple of years, teaching myself as I go along. Currently, I am working on two different platforms that I have never used before. When I take on these challenges, I like all the feedback I can get especially since I am teaching myself.

So I called Jacob in the office recently to view a few different options I had developed. First, like many Aspies, he was completely honest with me. He made some remarks that I took as productive and as critical criticism but he felt bad after he told me the truth and started acting very nervous and anxious. I could see it in his body movements, eye contact, fake smile, repetition of the same sentences,  as he paced back and forth around my office, etc. Those are just Jacobs' tell-tale signs of being socially awkward. This scenario brought up some issues that I, as Jacob's parent, needed to deal with and help him overcome the symptoms he feels about being in social situations.

Transitioning in social situations for those with #Asperger's can add another layer to social awkwardness.

Staying Optimistic - Day Four - Mendability

 These are pictures I took on Jacob's birthday in December coming home from dinner. I had taken each picture but it was not meant for them to come out like this. We were just having a good time playing with my new phone. I just happened on them the other day and was feeling so down about Jacob's resistance. I cannot tell if it is his Autism or if it is just "the teen years". Either way, we are not giving up! I am giving him to  process. Every child needs that even though without disabilities. I have never forced Jacob to do any therapy that made his symptoms worse or that he adamantly refused to do but he seems to want to participate. He is feeling really awkward just finishing his first year in high school. That is overwhelming in itself for all kids. I remember 9th grade and it was the pits.

Are They Different....Really?

“Asperger’s syndrome has probably been an important and valuable characteristic of our species throughout evolution.” Tony Attwood.

The term "teenager" can scare any parent.  Imagine if your teenager also had a disability.  People think children on the Autism Spectrum Disorder are different, yet in reality, they are more alike than you can imagine.  Although children with Asperger's children suffer social skills deficits and struggle with sexuality and relationships with the opposite sex, they have similar feelings dealing with parents' divorcing and bullying issues. 

Asperger's syndrome is a developmental disorder that can cause repetitive rituals, obsessions, oddities of speech, such as talking in a monotone, shouting voice or taking figures of speech literally. Teens with Asperger's may have eccentric behavior and inappropriate facial expressions, trouble connecting with peers, and clumsy movements.  Autism affects about one in 5,000 Americans and is associated with normal intelligence for some on the higher end of the spectrum.  Boys are three to four times more likely to have Asperger's than girls.  The teenager with Asperger's lack social skills that affect their behaviors.

They tend to have a high interest in one particular area, such as video games, history, or dinosaurs that they talk about constantly appearing manipulative.  These teens will either avoid eye contact or stare at people, making them feel uncomfortable. They wear what is comfortable instead of style.  They cannot pick up on social cues, lacking the innate ability to read body language, engaging in conversation and turn taking.

Happy Birthday Jacob!!

Early Birthday With Brianna!

"Some wonderful pictures of my miracle baby this past weekend with his girlfriend, Bri!" 

Just wanted to show off some pictures I made from this past weekend. Jacob's birthday is on December 22, 2014 and he will be 17 years old. I never wanted him to feel anything other than the special and miraculous birth that he was.

Jacob's pregnancy was anything but "normal". I was on bed rest from five weeks pregnant. I had started bleeding and they were worried I was going to miscarry again. Jacob's father and I had already lost four babies. I took all the medicine they told me I needed and yet, still, we lost all four. 

Jacob was different though. He was special even before he was born. He was a fighter inside of me just like he is the protector of me now.

I  had to be on bed rest and see my doctor three times a week. I do not know how I would have made it through all of it without the help of ex-husband's mother, Judy, his sister, Jean and my niece, Krista. Jean would let Kris skip school to come and "take care of Aunt Holley" since she made honor roll all the time anyway. They were there for me through the whole thing. They would laugh, cry, eat, play Phase 10 or Rummy and anything else to get my mind off of what we all knew it was on. I, thought, of course, I am going to lose this baby too. 

Jean was so funny. She always is. We had been at her house the night before I found out I was pregnant with Jacob playing cards and having a great time. My ex and I had decided to stop trying to get pregnant. We had a great time playing cards that night. I will NEVER forget some of the stories that have been re-hashed over the years (I still feel so sorry for Sean's poor little feet).

What If

What If? 

I love this quote so much and it touched my heart so deeply, I cried when I first read it. It did not come from any site related to Autism. I simply saw it online and it beckoned me by saying - "What If?" - "What If?" - over and over again.

The story started last Saturday early in the morning around 3 or 4 am. I had been sick all week, went to the doctor and received medicine but it was not helping. I was taking Albuterol nebulizer treatments, cough, and cold medicine, and Tylenol, but I was still severely ill. Tony had gone to a friend's house, so it was just Jacob and me in the house.

I was sleeping in the bed, propped into a sitting position so I could breathe a little better, but was woken abruptly when I could no longer breathe. My lungs felt like they had collapsed and my body hurt all over so badly.

I could not catch my breath, but for briefs seconds at a time. It was then, I would take the deepest breath I could to deal with the times when I could not breathe. Jacob's room and my room are at opposite ends of the hallway. I had no way to call out to him. I could barely whisper much less yell for help.

Autism Linked To Genetics – Who Would Have Thought?

I do not mean to sound cynical or sarcastic in my title (Ok, maybe just a little) but I am so happy about the two significant completed have located over 60 genes that increase the chances of aa child being born with Autism by 90%. I have always known that about my son. Jacob was born with Autism. I never thought he "caught" it from getting vaccinations nor anything in our environment. Like many other syndromes, Autism is in the genes.

I knew from the time Jacob was three months old that he was different. I worked as a pediatric nurse and saw over 150 children a day so it was not difficult for me to notice that my child was not meeting his milestones. That was over 17 years ago and Autism was a term only known by the best specialist doctors in the world. Back then, you sure were not going to have your general doctor realize the diagnosis quickly.

At three  months old, all Jacob wanted to do was sit in his bouncy seat with his blanket and a stuffed lion while watching Toy Story on VHS over and over ALL day long. If I tried to interrupt, this time, he would wail the most awful cry I have ever heard. He was mesmerized by the movie and "saw" nothing else around him.

Now, with two separate studies on over 17,000 DNA samples, researchers have finally found enough to concretely state that Autism is, in fact, a genetic disorder. What makes these studies so unique is that the facts show that the mutations are not present in the blood or brain of the parents but occur during the fertilization of the egg. Instead, the mutations show up in the nerve-cell communication or proteins that are connected to inherited disabilities.

Up until now, Autism has been hard to treat, partly, because of the range of symptoms on the scale but also because the cause of Autism is not fully understood. These studies bring great hope in helping doctors and researchers figure out treatment options that can be tailored to each child.

This, in my opinion, is the most significant find. The spectrum is so huge that I feared that days like today would not happen in my lifetime. I could not be happier about these findings as they back up what I have, for over 15 years explained to family, friends, and even other parents who were still searching for a diagnosis.

Today is a happy day for my family. The closer science and psychology get to finding the cause of Autism, the more the syndrome shows up in the news which means more awareness, advocacy, and treatments.

Regards,

 ~Holley Jacobs