Autism Acceptance - A Good Place To Start Research

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Here is another LiveBinder that I designed to help those parents who have recently had their child diagnosed with Autism. It is a great tool and it keeps your attention while diverting any worries that you are suffering from at the moment. There is some great information but not too much that will cause overload and shut down by parents and children alike. I hope this helps some parents. Please feel free to leave more links below if you feel there is something missing. For those that have been working the "Autism Scene" for a while like me, I also made a transition LiveBinder early this year that you may find some use for. I hope you enjoy!
Regards,
~ Holley

Early Invention Is The Key To Success

Finally!! Those who can assist parents in helping their children recently diagnosed with autism have realized that early intervention is the key to success. I have struggled with spreading this concept from the time Jacob was diagnosed. As a pediatric nurse and a mother, I knew that Jacob was special very early on. This was 1998 and Autism wasn't even a word anyone knew about. I took Jacob to a specialist who diagnosed him with Autism.

Immediately, I went into "mom" mode. I started researching everything I could possibly find on the internet. There was not much information out there then and what was available was horrific. Long story short  - children with this disorder "needed to be put into homes because they would never amount to anything".  Well, that just infuriated me. I would be damned if anyone told me my son could not be absolutely anything he wanted and he could succeed and meet whatever goals he made for himself.

As his mother, a nurse, an advocate; I have worked raising awareness for not only Autism Awareness but more importantly to me, Autism Acceptance. I have a great example of what ACCEPTANCE should be the main priority for those with Autism. I have a small green puzzle piece tattoo on my right hand. Now, mind you, I have many other tattoos but all of them can be covered with clothes if need be EXCEPT my puzzle piece. This was a strategic move on my part. When I  first meet someone, I firmly shake their hand with my right hand. Since getting this tattoo, nine out of ten people will ask me what is means. AAAHHHAAA!!! Gotcha!! The door is opened for me to spread autism acceptance and the miraculous human being that is my son.

Would You Join Our Autism Project?

Jacob and I have been working on a project for Autism Awareness Month. We've made a plan to distribute different types of information in different media forms to raise awareness about Autism. We've been working together on this project which is very exciting for me. I love spending as much time with Jacob as possible.

Some things are assigned to Jacob and some are assigned to me. Other types of information are going to be completed with both of us working collaboratively. When it's all said and done we will have a lot of information for people who have the pleasure of having someone with Autism in their life.

The people we're trying to reach are parents who have just recently found out their child has autism. These parents may be scared, concerned, angry and going through a lot of emotions at the same time. I can remember that day as if it were yesterday even though it was over 16 years ago.

We want to help alleviate some of the stress that parents have especially when there are siblings involved. This can make the whole situation even more worrisome on many levels. Our main purpose is to provide these parents with current credible medical and behavioral information as well as advice, news and stories about others who are in or who have been in a similar situation. However, most importantly we want to give them help. We want them to learn about the autism spectrum and diagnosis itself through objective information as well as Jacob and my personal opinions and experiences.

Understanding Autism Meltdowns

Chapter Four of AsperTools is an interesting chapter about meltdowns. As a mother of a child that used to have meltdowns so often and significant that I could not take Jacob out in public. People would stare and make comments either about his "behavior" and my "parenting skills". It was, quite frankly, easier to stay at home. Over the years of learning about Autism/Asperger's, I have concluded how to work with them and my son, rather than avoid everyone else on earth. I got to a point where I didn't care anymore if people stared at me; it was not going to affect my daily life nor the life of my child. He has every right to go on field trips and vacations as any other child.

Now that Jacob is 18 and about to graduate from high school, meltdowns are less frequent but are just as severe. The good news is that Jacob is able to express his side of meltdowns. I have always been observant of his meltdown symptoms but they have changed over time. This is one area that chapter four doesn't mention.

 The main gist is that "an ounce of prevention is truly worth a ton of cure".  **Source

 #Autism #Aspergers #self-soothing of #meltdowns need to be taught to youth who experience them."

The author and his daughter are absolutely delightful in their remembrance of events such as meltdowns. The chapter shows the human side of the parent whose first respond is to get angry and yell (have to admit guilty here too). Unfortunately, that is not the way meltdowns work. They are a part of my son, not a temper tantrum that needs the kind of discipline that people in public will state he needs. Instead, I had to learn not only to be very observant of Jacobs' signs but also aware of my own responses. Once a meltdown starts, it is near impossible to stop it. From that point on, you are just along for the ride. I learned that the hard way too. 

Sometimes Teens With Asperger's And Social Awkwardness Gets The Pretty Cheerleder

Youth on the high-end spectrum of Autism, formerly known as Aspergers' usually has a higher degree of social awkwardness. This social awkwardness can be doubly hard if the youth doesn't get the positive response they seek. They will then resort to one of two areas - they will retreat to their rooms that are full of solitude and not face the issue of socialization or they will feel the need to dominate a conversation. They will take control of the situation which is not great either as this does not promote "a true give-and-take relationship" **Source

This video really touched me as it portrays many aspects of signs, symptoms, and issues that youth on the Autism Spectrum scale deal with on a daily basis. The first, and most enlightening, is the surprise, gratefulness, and pure joy that the boy shows after realizing what the cake question meant. The video also shows the empathy of some great high school students. It is also great to see that "The boy with Autism can still go to prom with a popular, cute cheerleader" which fills my heart with joy, pride, and hopefulness. Next, it is obvious that the young man is very surprised as if he doesn't believe what is happening. His response is one that seems awkward in some sense but, at the same time, similar to the same way a young man asked to prom by a pretty girl would react.

I decided to write about this topic because of a situation that happened between Jacob and myself. I have been designing websites for a couple of years, teaching myself as I go along. Currently, I am working on two different platforms that I have never used before. When I take on these challenges, I like all the feedback I can get especially since I am teaching myself.

So I called Jacob in the office recently to view a few different options I had developed. First, like many Aspies, he was completely honest with me. He made some remarks that I took as productive and as critical criticism but he felt bad after he told me the truth and started acting very nervous and anxious. I could see it in his body movements, eye contact, fake smile, repetition of the same sentences,  as he paced back and forth around my office, etc. Those are just Jacobs' tell-tale signs of being socially awkward. This scenario brought up some issues that I, as Jacob's parent, needed to deal with and help him overcome the symptoms he feels about being in social situations.

Transitioning in social situations for those with #Asperger's can add another layer to social awkwardness.

Adult Transition Success

I have been writing about the transition of young adults with special needs (particularly those on the Autism Spectrum) and have noticed something new in my son. I then did a little research and found other young adults who have also had a positive experience in transitioning.



First, Jacob does not do well with transitioning of anything. It makes him very anxious and uncomfortable so we tend to keep our lives on a pretty rigid program. Jacob works better when he has structure so I was not sure how things would go considering the way the school system works here. The students take classes from August to December and then new classes from January to May. The classes might be the same such as English or Government, but Jacob does not get the same teacher every time. 

Transitioning through this process has been hard during his time in high school. The first year was the worst because he was transitioning from middle to high school which is HUGE for any student but then he had to become accustomed to switching class topics and teacher halfway through the year. That was hard on him and I felt horrible but it was a life lesson that he has to learn to overcome. 

Since that time, he has gradually gotten better at the changes in the middle of the year but it seems as soon as he gets comfortable his life is turned upside down with new classes and new teachers. The PowerPoint that we made is updated each time he gets new teachers and he presents it each time. That has been a plus as far as the changes in classes halfway through the year. He has gained a lot of experience in self-disclosure and feels more comfortable talking to others about his disabilities. I am very proud of him for that. We started when he was 12 years old learning how he can and will disclose his disabilities. 

Jacob has been disclosing some of his disabilities to new friends he makes after a certain amount of time. He has never shown any of them the PowerPoint he did, but he talks with each one individually. He does this so that if they have any questions, they are not discouraged or embarrassed by having others around. This has been great for Jacob's social skills. He now has a "cliché" of friends since tenth grade. Since social skills have always been hard for Jacob, making AND keeping friends is a HUGE accomplishment. I could not be more proud of my only child. There is a fine line between disclosing and being discriminated for it so Jacob's ability to self-advocate is truly remarkable. However, I want to stress that these changes need to be in place from day one of diagnosis. Early Intervention is the key to successfully reached children on the Spectrum to the fullest capacity.

I also found a great little webpage that lists some other youths who have gone through transitions called Stories of Transitions to the Adult World and although the stories of these four people are dated to 2003, they still apply greatly to our children today. As you will read, the author points out how transition to adulthood is hard on every young person. However, then you add having disabilities on top of that and the only thing left as a parent to do is to GIVE MORE SUPPORT. That is my motto and I have stuck with those three simple rules during Jacob's entire life. 

We look at the future and chose to image the best; then we make SMART goals and go from there. This is how we have always focused on Jacob's education and life goals. If you have never heard of SMART goals or could use some support in developing SMART goals, make sure to check out the link. They not only explain what SMART goals are but help you in deciding how to write them. We use the program for his transitioning steps and it has worked great. I am happy to have found this site because Jacob can use the site continuing after high school transition into adulthood. Transition is hard, but not impossible. 

DREAM BIG, CONQUER ANYTHING!!