The Top 15 Things I Need You To Know About Autism

 We, as mothers, as fathers, as advocates, as teachers, etc. are always putting our children first. Don't get me wrong; we should if we want them to flourish and grow. However, I think now, and then, parents need an outlet. We need to be heard. We spend so much time finding ways for our children to be heard, that we can forget about taking care of ourselves. This is not only unhealthy for parents but in the long run, it only hurts your kid's progress as well.

One area for me that is especially touchy is what I would like for other parents to know about the diagnosis, the lifestyle, our battles,  our wins, our failures and our mistakes. We are no different than other parents. No child comes with a manual and therefore every person I have every met with a child can tell me a story where they feel that they failed. That is only natural. But please keep the following in mind regarding my son and me.

• Please don't push your opinions about how to raise or treat my child. Advice is welcome. Criticism is not

• Autism does not define my child. He is so much more than that.
• Autism is not contagious so please don't act like it is.
• There is no cure for Autism, and you know what, I am OKAY with this fact. I don't want to cure Autism. I love Jacob just the way he is as does all parents.
• Please don't put limitations on my son because of what you have read or heard about symptoms, treatments, or prognosis. There is a lot of misinformation out there about Autism.
• Not all people with Autism look or act like Dustin Hoffman from Rainman. Don't expect my son to dazzle you with extraordinary gifts or talent. He is so talented in his own way so talk to him like you would anyone else. You will find that he has much to add to most conversations.
• My son can hear, see, and sense your mannerism so, please refrain from acting and talking about him as if he weren't in the room.
• Neither you nor I can predict the future so don't think that Jacob hasn't one. I will never give up on him so please don't either.

Autism Acceptance - A Good Place To Start Research

Click here to open this binder in a new window.



Here is another LiveBinder that I designed to help those parents who have recently had their child diagnosed with Autism. It is a great tool and it keeps your attention while diverting any worries that you are suffering from at the moment. There is some great information but not too much that will cause overload and shut down by parents and children alike. I hope this helps some parents. Please feel free to leave more links below if you feel there is something missing. For those that have been working the "Autism Scene" for a while like me, I also made a transition LiveBinder early this year that you may find some use for. I hope you enjoy!
Regards,
~ Holley

Steam Heart of Gold

**Vitnir on Deviantart

Steam sent flying through pipes intertwining and interconnecting

Loud whistles and bells make noises as steam pumps faster in the pipes

They keep a heart made out of bronze and copper alive through it’s pain

Through its turmoil and through its happiness and it's depression

They keep a young boys life from shutting down

Keeps it from rusting and decaying through the boy's life

Though… the boy wants it to rust

He wants it to die because he is tired of the neglect

Tired of the abuse and mistreatments of friends and people he knows

He wants it to become cold and desolate

To be scraped and torn apart by scavengers

To be demolished and condemned like the days of steam punk

But soon, he realized he had been mistaken

He should live and excel and improve

Because he knew his steam heart was a heart of gold

And he would always care about others

This is Phoenix signing off.

The Importance of Going To College

The Importance of Going To College

I know for a fact that it's important. You have a statistically higher chance of getting a better job with better benefits, better pay, and a high level of living than people who don't go to college. Also, most of the jobs in the world require a higher form of education than others. Even McDonald's doesn't accept people who don't have a version of higher education. This is taken in account of the higher living costs of today that has about doubled in the past decade or so because of the rise of resource consumption, living costs, and living quality. And the types of yesterday are declining to the jobs of today. Jobs such as nurses, farmers, and metal workers are declining while programming, electronic design, and animation are on the rise.


It seems to show that hands-on are declining while the jobs that aren't hands on are rising. So the fields of today's  jobs are narrowed and more fit for that section then the all-around type of jobs  which has lead to a rise of technical colleges that specialize in certain fields and a lower percentage of people going to 4-year colleges compared to people who are going to technical colleges. So because of hands-on jobs that are declining, people are being laid off because of automated services or businesses going out of business. These people are put on SSI because of losing their jobs and they are given a certain amount of time to find another job. But the problem is because they never learned about this newer jobs and never went to college in the first place or never went back, they are unable to get another job because they don't have the relative information that let businesses hire them.

Sometimes Teens With Asperger's And Social Awkwardness Gets The Pretty Cheerleder

Youth on the high-end spectrum of Autism, formerly known as Aspergers' usually has a higher degree of social awkwardness. This social awkwardness can be doubly hard if the youth doesn't get the positive response they seek. They will then resort to one of two areas - they will retreat to their rooms that are full of solitude and not face the issue of socialization or they will feel the need to dominate a conversation. They will take control of the situation which is not great either as this does not promote "a true give-and-take relationship" **Source

This video really touched me as it portrays many aspects of signs, symptoms, and issues that youth on the Autism Spectrum scale deal with on a daily basis. The first, and most enlightening, is the surprise, gratefulness, and pure joy that the boy shows after realizing what the cake question meant. The video also shows the empathy of some great high school students. It is also great to see that "The boy with Autism can still go to prom with a popular, cute cheerleader" which fills my heart with joy, pride, and hopefulness. Next, it is obvious that the young man is very surprised as if he doesn't believe what is happening. His response is one that seems awkward in some sense but, at the same time, similar to the same way a young man asked to prom by a pretty girl would react.

I decided to write about this topic because of a situation that happened between Jacob and myself. I have been designing websites for a couple of years, teaching myself as I go along. Currently, I am working on two different platforms that I have never used before. When I take on these challenges, I like all the feedback I can get especially since I am teaching myself.

So I called Jacob in the office recently to view a few different options I had developed. First, like many Aspies, he was completely honest with me. He made some remarks that I took as productive and as critical criticism but he felt bad after he told me the truth and started acting very nervous and anxious. I could see it in his body movements, eye contact, fake smile, repetition of the same sentences,  as he paced back and forth around my office, etc. Those are just Jacobs' tell-tale signs of being socially awkward. This scenario brought up some issues that I, as Jacob's parent, needed to deal with and help him overcome the symptoms he feels about being in social situations.

Transitioning in social situations for those with #Asperger's can add another layer to social awkwardness.

Staying Optimistic - Day Four - Mendability

 These are pictures I took on Jacob's birthday in December coming home from dinner. I had taken each picture but it was not meant for them to come out like this. We were just having a good time playing with my new phone. I just happened on them the other day and was feeling so down about Jacob's resistance. I cannot tell if it is his Autism or if it is just "the teen years". Either way, we are not giving up! I am giving him to  process. Every child needs that even though without disabilities. I have never forced Jacob to do any therapy that made his symptoms worse or that he adamantly refused to do but he seems to want to participate. He is feeling really awkward just finishing his first year in high school. That is overwhelming in itself for all kids. I remember 9th grade and it was the pits.

Jacob's College Ambitions

Jacob's Thoughts on Exceptional Minds

I am not 17 years old and I am going to be a senior at North Star High School. After that, I want to go to college. My mom found a college that would help me and it's a college that I would love to go. It's a college for people with Autism and they help them learn animation, graphic design, Adobe certification  and more. To be honest, I would love to go. It seems like a great place to go and it can help me with my dreams of becoming an animator. I looked at the website and I feel that I would enjoy my experience there. I admit there's probably going to be classes that I won't understand or like, but I think some of those classes might be necessary to help me. It is located in California and while I am nervous if I was to move there, I think it would be an enlightening feeling. 

It would be an experience that I would enjoy. I feel excited that I have the opportunity to go to a college that can help  me. They have been to several places like Disney, VFX studios, Dolby-Digital and more. Their graduates helped make Dawn of the Planet of the Apes. they take their time with students and most are summer students. Surprisingly, the graduating class of 2014 had 5 students in it. 

Exceptional mids is a technical school that lasts three years, but I think it would be worth it. They have caring teachers that understand the needs of the students and are willing to help them with whatever problem they can solve that can help the student.

I feel that it is the right place for me for several reasons. One, it will help me get the job that I want and have always dreamed of. Two, it can show me a new culture of a state I have never been to while expanding my horizons. And finally, it will be an environment that is comfortable to me and will help me improve my skills in leadership and my social skills.

They don't just help with getting skills for your job requirements. They can help with, as I said, getting you adjusted to a leadership role and to help with your social skills. They are even willing to employ you as part of an actual studio if you can't find a job when you graduate. I think this school would be perfect for me and I will do anything that is necessary to get in. It seems like an all around good school and I hope that I will enjoy getting to meet new people and master my craft. It would be an honor to go to Exceptional Minds. That is what I think and feel about college right now.

This is Phoenix, signing off.

April Is Autism Awareness Month - Part 1

First, I hope you enjoy our newest Autism video for year 2015. If you enjoy this one, please see other videos like this on my YouYube Channel. There has been so much research, time, effort, and dedication to learn about Autism/Asperger's, find treatments, and offer assistance and support groups for parents and others who are actively involved in a child's life who is on the Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). I am going to highlight some of the major areas today and follow up each day with more specific information.

Please come back and visit our site for more information. You will not be disappointed in the information and knowledge you will gain from this series.

I intend to also add a page that has many other websites who offer more knowledge or specific help regarding many issues that children with Autism and their family face every day. I have also added a page for Early Learning Exercises that offer many children's websites for learning and growth during those all too important early years.

My son, Jacob was diagnosed over 15 years ago during a time when there was not much known about Autism and it certainly was not an everyday word that the majority of people knew something about. Most people's response would be "What's that?" when I would try to explain to them what Jacob was diagnosed with. There is so much information out on the internet now, I am having to open multiple windows to view each site. I will be closely monitoring which sites I place on the new page I am building for Autism Awareness Month along with the video I made for this month.

Many websites claim to have knowledge about ASD spectrum and offer great content but that simply is not the case. Many of those sites are biased in some way whether they are affiliates of the treatments or information they provide or they are just outdated material. I am not biased and in fact, like to know as much as I can about what new information is found lately in research and development for those who are on the ASD scale. I am not opposed or supportive of any particular therapy. All I can do is explain my son's symptoms and therapies we have tried and tested over the years. Some have worked great and others have bombed but that is no reason not to share them with others. As each child on the ASD is different from another, I intend to list as many therapies, tips, advice, feel good stories, and my personal experiences with Autism/Asperger's. So, let's get started.

What If

What If? 

I love this quote so much and it touched my heart so deeply, I cried when I first read it. It did not come from any site related to Autism. I simply saw it online and it beckoned me by saying - "What If?" - "What If?" - over and over again.

The story started last Saturday early in the morning around 3 or 4 am. I had been sick all week, went to the doctor and received medicine but it was not helping. I was taking Albuterol nebulizer treatments, cough, and cold medicine, and Tylenol, but I was still severely ill. Tony had gone to a friend's house, so it was just Jacob and me in the house.

I was sleeping in the bed, propped into a sitting position so I could breathe a little better, but was woken abruptly when I could no longer breathe. My lungs felt like they had collapsed and my body hurt all over so badly.

I could not catch my breath, but for briefs seconds at a time. It was then, I would take the deepest breath I could to deal with the times when I could not breathe. Jacob's room and my room are at opposite ends of the hallway. I had no way to call out to him. I could barely whisper much less yell for help.

Our Family Journey Overcoming Autism

Jacob and I started this blog over a year ago to track a treatment we were trying called Mendability. I HIGHLY recommend this program if your child is on the spectrum and is younger in age. Jacob did not do well with the program because he is older. Their studies have, to my knowledge, focused on early intervention. Things may have changed as they found older kids that Mendability was suited for; however, it just was not for Jacob.

Therefore, I let the blog sit here and showed it as part of my web designing business. Recently, we, as a family, have been through some things that have made me want to start blogging about Autism and Asperger’s. Jacob was diagnosed with Asperger’s but with assistance will overcome his battles with Autism. Do we look for a cure?

Simply – NO!

Autism Linked To Genetics – Who Would Have Thought?

I do not mean to sound cynical or sarcastic in my title (Ok, maybe just a little) but I am so happy about the two significant completed have located over 60 genes that increase the chances of aa child being born with Autism by 90%. I have always known that about my son. Jacob was born with Autism. I never thought he "caught" it from getting vaccinations nor anything in our environment. Like many other syndromes, Autism is in the genes.

I knew from the time Jacob was three months old that he was different. I worked as a pediatric nurse and saw over 150 children a day so it was not difficult for me to notice that my child was not meeting his milestones. That was over 17 years ago and Autism was a term only known by the best specialist doctors in the world. Back then, you sure were not going to have your general doctor realize the diagnosis quickly.

At three  months old, all Jacob wanted to do was sit in his bouncy seat with his blanket and a stuffed lion while watching Toy Story on VHS over and over ALL day long. If I tried to interrupt, this time, he would wail the most awful cry I have ever heard. He was mesmerized by the movie and "saw" nothing else around him.

Now, with two separate studies on over 17,000 DNA samples, researchers have finally found enough to concretely state that Autism is, in fact, a genetic disorder. What makes these studies so unique is that the facts show that the mutations are not present in the blood or brain of the parents but occur during the fertilization of the egg. Instead, the mutations show up in the nerve-cell communication or proteins that are connected to inherited disabilities.

Up until now, Autism has been hard to treat, partly, because of the range of symptoms on the scale but also because the cause of Autism is not fully understood. These studies bring great hope in helping doctors and researchers figure out treatment options that can be tailored to each child.

This, in my opinion, is the most significant find. The spectrum is so huge that I feared that days like today would not happen in my lifetime. I could not be happier about these findings as they back up what I have, for over 15 years explained to family, friends, and even other parents who were still searching for a diagnosis.

Today is a happy day for my family. The closer science and psychology get to finding the cause of Autism, the more the syndrome shows up in the news which means more awareness, advocacy, and treatments.

Regards,

 ~Holley Jacobs

Update on Progress - Mendability Sensory Enrichment

For personal reasons, I have been unable to help Jacob with Mendability as often as I need and want to. I love the fact that it gives Jacob and me "time together" and even though, it is in a treatment setting; it doesn't feel that way for me. 

I cannot nor do I speak for Jacob's opinion but I will ask him and see if he wants to write a post about his views.
I have always believed in inclusion and teaching Jacob self-advocacy and life skills. At this point, he is almost 16 so many of the issues we face may not be due to his diagnoses but instead to just being a teenage boy.

Jacob's Mendability Experience One

Jacob's Mendability Experience One



"When I first heard about Mendability, I was excited about it. But when I heard the age groups, I kinda got nervous about it because I did not want to do something I would not like. And when me and my mom saw the videos of the things I was supposed to do, first off; what they were doing was weird. Secondly, it creeped me out the way the person was talking about the things and lastly I was kinda reluctant because I know no one in my age group would like to do those things. This is my thoughts so far."
~ Jacob Klein

Frustration Sets In - Day Three Mendability

Jacob and I started last night by watching the videos and talking about the various exercises recommended for us after the first worksheet. 

This was a short and difficult session.

I forgot to mention last time, I think it was a better experience, in part, because we figured out how to add a picture to Jacob's name. He was excited to pick a picture and was happy to make the one he chose fit properly in place. I think this is what lead to his complete attention.

A Better Experience Day Two Mendability

Well, last night Jacob and I went into the Mendability program and was able to finish the last 50% of the analysis with more success than the first day.

I was nervous, to say the least about whether he was going to comply. The questions were not making him happy especially if I did not agree with his answers.


I wanted him to be the one who answered the questions considering his age. I feel that he should be as independent as possible and after reviewing the questions, felt he could answer them appropriately. Some of the questions, he tried to make "not a problem" when, in fact, they are problems. This is where we had an issue the first day.

The Start of a New Journey - Day One Mendability

Day One

Well, let's see!

Jacob and I sat down and started 
Mendability today. 
I told him in the morning that we were going to check it out. He asked if we could "schedule" sometime in the evening.

I said, "Sure, what time is good for you?"
He said, "How does 5:00 p.m. work for you?"
I said "Perfect!"






Five o'clock comes and as usual, Jacob is at my office door, and politely informs me that it is time. I never notice the time. I just keep working until I cannot work considering how much I have to do. I, as usual, ask him to give me a few minutes to finish up what I am doing and he says "OK" and shuffles away, slightly  ticked off. A few minute go by and I try to quickly finish what I was doing so we can start on a great foot.

I call him into the office and as he pulls up a chair, explain to him, that I have no idea what we are going to see or how the system works. I inform him, straight away that it may not be smooth and that we must learn how the system works. I want to prepare him so he does not get discouraged. He nods in understanding.

I explain to him how Kim asked about video recording his sessions as I pull up the website and log in. His face glows and as he is still beaming, informs me "Well, we do not have any batteries for the camera." I downplay the conversation, realizing I spoke too soon, by telling him "Well, we don't want to videotape the first time, right? How silly will we look as we figure this out?"  Jacob chuckled and I sighed....no meltdown.